•Mutations of the journalist in the corridors of power
Man loses wife and three kids to vehicle accident caused by bad road. Media aide justifies governor’s refusal to repair the road, claiming there were more pressing state projects. Aide scornfully dismisses uproar over the incident as negligible tirade of ‘the wailing wailers.’
It is only fair that the aide suffers the loss of all his children and wife, in similar circumstances, that he might understand the misery of the bereaved father and husband.
If presidential media aides disdainfully justify government indolence in curbing frequent murder of innocent rural families by northern herdsmen, it is only fair that such aides suffer inexplicable, brazen murder of their loved ones too. That they might understand the insane pain borne by victims of such killings.
A governor cum phony progressive honours an African president with an obscene N520 million effigy, to the consternation of his impoverished electorate. His media aide justifies the juvenile enterprise even as the governor owes salaries and pensions. It is only fair that the aide experiences divinely imposed hunger and famine of the purse, that he might understand the agony of the state’s starving, elderly pensioners.
If after experiencing such losses, media aides are able to smile, keep a stiff upper lip and unflinching belief in the ‘fairness, efficiency and honesty’ of their principals, Nigerians may begin to assimilate their illusory gospel of fortitude and hope.
The contemporary media aide urges you to be happy irrespective of your plight. He advances to dissenters, the illusion of happiness, an attitude akin to David Cooperrider’s “Transformational Positivity.”
Media aides urge oppressed electorate to embrace their pains and see the world anew, touting obscure and incomprehensible jargon about the power of positive thinking. ‘Nigeria is getting better,’ they urge the citizenry to believe.
Their admonition would be edifying had they experienced same miseries as the citizenry they request such optimism of. Their smiley gospel of contrived bliss and resignation would be acceptable if they could mount the soapbox and preach so, soon after they lose loved ones to avoidable deaths caused by bad governance by the principals they represent.
When the citizenry complain of perceived shortcomings of their principals, media aides liken expressed dissent to whimpers and cries of neutered enemies of the state. These days, they simply dub every critic, a ‘wailing wailer.’ For instance, if you criticize the incumbent administration of President Muhammadu Buhari, you must be one of the greedy beneficiaries of immediate past President, Goodluck Jonathan’s corrupt regime.
If you complain of deaths on the nation’s bad roads, hospital corridors of death, substandard schools, corrupt, overzealous government agency officials , they tell you that Nigeria can’t achieve a sudden resurrection from devastation and sleaze foisted upon her by previous regimes.
There is no gainsaying that Nigeria currently experiences pangs of a healing process, which requires patience and commitment to the course of positive ‘change.’ It is an open secret however, that the process of rebirth is constantly hobbled by leadership and nemeses enslaved to hubris, nepotism, greed and a god complex.
The incumbent All Progressives Congress (APC) government expects to be cuddled and patronised while its chieftains and elected officers foists on Nigeria, grotesque governance akin to that imposed on the country by immediate past leadership of the People’s Democratic Party (PDP).
No doubt, bad roads and deadly waterways, substandard education and healthcare, depressive economy and unemployment , insecurity and untimely death, still constitute the greatest assault on the populace by the ruling class.
The citizenry’s deadliest aggressor, however, are journalists turned media aides in the corridors of power. They are like Spenser’s genitally deformed Duessa to the ruling class’ misshapen phallus.
From the presidential villa and state houses, to lower public service ministries, journalists mutate into modern versions of the whore of Babylon. Like Spenser’s Acrasia, Phaedria, Malecasta, Duessa and Hellenore, they foster the triumph of predatory government over a critical press. While a shrewd few struggle to stay upright and true, a greater number play whore to the ruling class.
It is instructive to note however, that the Nigerian media aide nurtures variants of lesser aides or attack dogs within and outside his office. While he licks the boot of his principal, his minions jostle for crumbs from his ‘operating budget’ or the largesse he gets from his employer.
Mongrels to the media aide often function further down the pecking order; they are the thugs and trolls of the traditional and new media. They issue caustic retorts to critics and perceived detractors of the media aide and his principal. A critique of a presidential media aide’s disgraceful sycophancy for instance, attracted sharp retort from one of his thugs.
Manipulative and exploitative, media aides tirelessly seek to validate humiliation, poverty, pestilence and death foisted upon mostly poor, underprivileged citizenry by their principals.
But unlike majority of Nigeria’s impoverished who are driven by hunger, tokenism and base sentimentality to justify the callousness of their elected representatives, these ‘Yes-men’ aren’t conditioned so by severe bouts of hunger or affliction by Stockholm Syndrome.
They are in perfect control of their desires and aspiration to be ‘turned’ and dominated by predatory principals. They are eager to serve and devote their lives to the celebration of evil, in whatever guise, as long as it translates to currency deposits in their bank accounts.
They are greatly efficient in closed, womblike spaces; the TV studio, compact halls, the boardroom, and State House press halls. These replace the medieval spaces in the bedchamber, groves and caves like the leafy grotto of Homer’s Calypso, where their medieval archetype is captured, seduced, sodomized and infantilized.
Thus Nigeria’s major affliction besides the archetypal rogue, corrupt journalist includes, Special Advisers on Media Affairs, some State Commissioners for Information, Chief Press Secretaries and Special Assistant on Media Affairs. These ‘Yes-men’ conduct themselves like political Labradors, constantly undergoing psychological entrancement, thus turning their linearity of quest into a Tantalus problem.
Tantalus, the eternally hungry king in Greek mythology, was condemned to stand in water under a fruit tree. Whenever he tried to drink or eat, the water or fruit receded beyond his reach. Such is the predicament of the media aide. Like his principal, he is ravenous for unearned riches and other vulgar perks. Thus his insatiable appetite for the spoils of office, irrespective of his position at the root of the totem pole.
Media aides should be pitied. They bring no honour to their work. They are mere errand boys hence their inability to speak truth to power. Before their descent and domestication like yard dogs, some of them struggled to personify the country’s finest press men, critics and leaders of thought. Today, they serve in mortifying circumstances, in capacities unbecoming of patriot-journalists and critics.
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